Honeymoon Suites: The Bare Minimum

Monday, August 25, 2008

I just came home from a 3-day Palawan vacation.

We stayed in a resort known to be a honeymoon destination but I honestly don't know how it got that reputation because the place is definitely not honeymooner-friendly.



[Warning: Mature material ahead. No curse words.]


What You Want in a Honeymoon Suite

(
Please use your imagination. I don't want my blog to be banned for posting pornographic materials.)

1.
Bed: A broken back is never romantic.

Demand at the minimum a queen-sized bed. Two single-beds that are pushed together do not count. When you start rolling around from one side to the other, you don't want to feel the break in your back. Worse, you don't want to fall right in the middle! All the action will definitely cause the bed to separate. This happened to my friend, I swear!

2.
Bed sheets:
Knee burns and chafed elbows!

I am not asking for 1,000 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets from Frette. Just don't give me bed linens with the texture of a sackcloth. Some may think this is not important but if you are planning to stay in bed most of the day, you will notice.

3.
Room service: Dressing up and walking to the clubhouse just to get something to eat will kill the mood and break the momentum.

You will eventually get hungry but moving your ass out of that bed will be the farthest thing from your mind. Without room service, you will have to dress up and go out to eat. The horror! By the time you finish eating, it will be very hard to get the groove back.

4.
Privacy: If you can hear your neighbors they can hear you too.

Res ipsa loquitur (The thing itself speaks).

There! Good luck on your first, second or nth honeymoon.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's not as if it's that hard to find a queen-sized bed. I've noticed this about some hotels nga not offering a single big bed. Come on! Paano kung mag-isa ka, for example? Lugi ka sa two double beds, obviously?!

Batibut said...

And where in Palawan was this place? I hope the blog-review was only a residual benefit from the visit... ;-P

cher said...

Same sentiments with the first poster. We experienced this on our trip to Singapore, we discovered to our horror that the only room available was a double bed occupancy despite the fact that we made a reservation. My husband ended up making siksik to my bed. We just had fun on the moment tho, I would comment that "ginapang niya ako!" :D

Mrs. G said...

@batibut - When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

@cher - *hihihi* Couples will always find a way.

Rudy Colipapa Kintanar said...

In Hongkong, there are hotels where when you want double bed they just separate the beds. And when you want queensize bed they just join them. And the space in between is just enough to squeeze through.
The system seem to be working to their advantage.

Anonymous said...

^^ nice blog!! ^@^

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